Easter grace

Well, happy Easter, and welcome back to a blog that has become overly quiet of late. Blame this on my dial up connection at home, and the lack of internet in the office. Or maybe I've just been getting lazy. Sorry. Forgive me!

It's Easter again, traditionally the time for most of us to gorge ourselves on chocolate. A few of us perhaps, I hope, have actually managed to spare time for Jesus this season. He did die for us after all. Such is His grace and love that I am reminded how far short I fall from His example. For those who know me it has become apparent how intolerant I am on my bus journies to and from work, with the man who whistles incoherently, to the Australian woman and her mobile phone. Can't she stop speaking, at all??? My intolerance continued as I took the train home to Barrow to see the folks. Almost 5 hours of people possibly only on that train to do my head in. From the woman who just had to sit in front of me with her bag of cheesy Doritos, to the overly loud teenage girls, excited by their shopping. Be excited, but not near me!

I spent an afternoon in Barrow's wildlife park, which has an enormous selection of animals from tigers, giraffes, to the general public. Yes, that's right, I had more in common with the animals than the baboon's who paid to get in there, whose only goal was to get in my face, swear in geordie accents, and to make stupid comments about the wondrous beasts that God has put on this Earth. My intolerance levels were at an all time high. I must reflect at these times, what would Jesus do? Would He remark, like I did, that the family staring at the rhinos were obviously looking at their own reflection? Or comment on the sour faced woman that she looked like a slapped arse that had been excreting lemons??? No He would not. He would have reminded them of His love and spent time with them, demonstrating his infallible love, proud to be with them.

None of us are perfect as I demonstrate about myself, not only in this blog, but on a daily basis. And neither are those around me. Hey, I guess all they need is a bit of love, and patience, as I do. I pray that Jesus will forgive me of my intolerance, and help me to show more grace.

I ask also for your tolerance and patience with me!

Have a good Easter.

The Human Database

Alarming reports on the news this week. It seems that the government aims to keep a database on each one of us. What can this mean? They are already spying on what rubbish we throw away, so the database on me will obviously say "'frozen food junkie' - send more junk mail from Iceland". Where will this database end? Will it contain a bar graph of the times and events of my going to the toilet? Will there be a pie chart on the number of times I go the wrong ways down one way streets as short cuts to work? Will there be venn diagrams on my chocolate addiction?

It is indeed all very worrying, and I may need to become a permanent recluse. The government will still know I'm in hiding of course. When their latest line graph on me is a flatlining they will know something is wrong, and they will probably send government spys disguised as market researchers to find out whether I'm dead or alive. And on that morbid topic, when I am dead will they delete my database, or will they produce another chart on the speed on which I am decomposing. Not that I will care then of course, I will be too busy in Heaven knowing that at least there is one place they can't catch me. And of course God has a bigger database on us than anyone.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everybody! I hope it's a good one for you.

As ever at this time, I reflect on the year gone by and consider my eventful (or otherwise) life. Once again the year ends and I remain single, despite a slight glimour of romance that fizzled before the match had even been sparked.

I am still (!!!!) in Hull, never expecting to be in this city for longer than two years, it has now surpassed ten. This has been my first full year as 'Children's worker' for a Christian charity (another one), and that has seen friendships made, friendships broken, many wrong words, and a few right (eous) ones.

There is much to be thankful for, not least my January purchase of a new hd tv for my lovely new Xbox 360, and that has seen me become more of a couch potato than ever before.

The year has flown by, as they invariably do once you leave childhood, and it makes me wonder how longer I will be in Hull when my family live 5 hours away on a train. The future is yet unwritten (in my diary at least; God's diary is full of information), and I leave 2006 wanting, rather than feeling a sense of satisfaction.

So, whoever and whereever you are reading this, I hope that the year ahead is a good one, a year where you are happy and satisfied, positively challenged, and shaped into the person that God made you to be.

Hopefully this blog will be more fruiful in the year ahead, so keep reading. God bless you, everyone ;)

Bad Choices!

Fear not, I am still alive, despite speculating on whether or not I would be after my last blog entry when I began driving lessons. They are going reasonably well by the way. Besides, it is time to move on to more pressing matters, and that is the closure of my local dvd rental store, 'Choices', which is where I have been a member since it opened. Their head office have decided that this particular store does not make enough business, despite my regular visits there. No more will I be able to banter with the welcoming staff, particularly Pam, and our inability to have a normal conversation, preferring instead to ramble friendly insults at each other. No longer will I be able to stroll along to the shop which is only ten minutes away, if I feel in the mood for a movie. All seemed lost, despite having a 'Blockbusters' which is thirty minutes walk away, which is thirty minutes too long. Then an answer came to me, as if in a fog enshrouded dream. Online rentals! Now I don't have to walk anywhere for my rental needs, other than the stairs from my flat to the post in my pigeon hole. So farewell sweet 'Choices' and so long Pam; our parting seemed so sad for a while, but I have moved on and so must you. xx

Driving me crazy

Stay off the roads everyone, I have begun driving lessons again. Yesterday was the first lesson in several years, after previously giving up because..a) I was crap... b) I ran out of money.

I expected to be driven to a quiet, out of the way of other traffic place, and thought I would spend an hour putting my seatbelt on and off, and playing with the gears. I did that, but then, like a man who has no respect for his or anyone else's life, he sent me driving up a main road, on to a duel carriageway and through two roundabouts! I had explained to him that it had been years since I had last driven, and that I had forgotten everything I had ever been taught due to an alien lobotomy, but obviously he ignored these warning signs, and decided I was fit enough for vehicular mayhem. Amazingly I am still alive after the ordeal, but if there are no further blog entries over the next year, you can work out why. See you in Heaven! Beep beep!

Dear Dominic

Dear Dominic Diamond, you were so great on 'Gamesmaster'. Well maybe 'great' isn't the word, but you were okay. A bit more on the games and a bit less of you would have helped, but never mind.

I watched your programme on Channel 5 recently. You know the one, that unusual attempt to ingratiate yourself back on tv by claiming you were trying to reclaim your faith. Look, there is a picture of yourself on the left, carrying your cross to prove it. Now I am not saying you didn't or don't have a faith, but it was the way you explored it which alarmed me. You lost your faith, you said, due to insomnia and God not enabling you to rest after you had asked him. Hmm. You also said, in that same paragraph of thoughts, that you had a busy, stressful lifestyle, and an early morning radio show to get up for. Could it be that you couldn't sleep because you didn't allow yourself or your mind to slow down.. couldn't you cut down on some aspects of your working life, and spend a bit more family and God time, without blaming your losing your faith on your inability to sleep..maybe you could have, and maybe now you do.

I was intrigued to see you enter spiritual retreat, and your journey to Israel to see the Garden of Gethsemane, and extended hours of prayer and silence. My problem with your journey was your promise of crucifixion at the end of it. You travelled to the Phillipines at Easter, where people experience crucifixion to bring them closer to God. This was your promise at the start of your programme, and dare I say it, your selling point. The programme was even called 'Crucify Me'. Far be it from me to say that you were using something so central to the Christian faith to make your big tv comeback. As it happened, you arrived at the Phillipines, and decided not to go up on the cross after all. And why should you? You don't need to be nailed to a cross to renew your faith, which is what you decided just as you were about to be. At this point your faith had returned, and you were comfortable in that fact without having your hands nailed. Fair enough. So Dom (if I may call you that), I sincerely hope your faith has returned, and I hope that you do get to spend more time with your family, and less time stressing around. Just let God love you as you are, and do not spend time worrying about a national comback on to our screens. You don't need to be crucified to do that. Just make better programmes.

Yours sincerely

Lee

Nightgowns in Heaven

Sat on the bus yesterday on the way to the train station I overheard an interesting conversation. A young girl sat with her grandmother asking her about Heaven. "When will I go?"; "How old will I be?" were among the questions. The grandmother told her she would probably be about 80 and would go a long time after herself. "Would you get me a nightgown ready for when I have to go?" the young girl asked. "Why is that?" asked the gran. "Everyone wears nightgowns in Heaven, and if you're first you can get me one ready for when I get there" the girl replied.

So there you have it. The little known fact that wasn't included in the Bible. If you want to get into Heaven you will need to have a nightgown ready. Don't suppose the colour really matters, and if you're a male then I guess you might need to order a pair of heavenly pyjamas.

Shopping never seemed so important until now.

Summer Camp 2006

Here are some pictures of a camp I took some children to in Redmire, North Yorkshire. Please note my mum in the picture at the dining table, who visited for a short while, and my sister opposite her who stayed for most of the camp. It was brilliant to work with her!

With the aid of 3 colleagues I took 7 children to camp this year. For some of the kids it was a rare opportunity to get away, and one in particular had his first real holiday away from home with us. It is for children such as these that make camp worthwhile. I have done many camps in the past, and have always enjoyed seeing the children grow and develop through it. A lot of the kids I have taken in the past and to a small extent on this camp, come from difficult backgrounds, and the camps mean a lot to them, and to their families.

I was thankful to have raised a lot of funding take the kids away - over a thousand pounds - which was miraculous, and am grateful to the people and trusts who contributed. The cost to take the kids away was quite high, so this enabled me to pay full fees.

The camp was quite cosy really - none of those low tech tent things here, with bugs burrowing into your leg (memories of a camp that still gives me shivers) - we slept in log cabins, little homes from home. The weather was mostly fine, and we all had a very enjoyable time. Just a shame we had to come home!

Goodbye Constable Street Primary

It is with a lot of sadness that Constable Street Primary School is closing this week, due to the 'wisdom' of our Government. It is one of a number of schools that will finally close their doors forever, and I am sad for the brilliant staff that have put their lives into the place over the years gone by.

I began to go into the school in 1995 when I began working with 'Hull Youth for Christ'. This included assemblies, and going into the year 6 classroom to listen to readers every Friday. And when I say every Friday, I mean every Friday (well nearly) over the next 8 years. Teachers and children came and went while I remained in the corner, listening to yet another rendition of 'Fuzzbuzz' and other 'classics'. I was sat in the corner for so long that they eventually asked me to become a school governor, which I accepted with trepidation. Such a thing seemed far too official for little old me, but it was a great experience, and my acceptance into the school was complete. There is only one step 'up' from governor of course, and I then became one of those most fearsome of beasts, the dinner 'lady'! This was a more terrifying prospect than that of a governor, and I was at the mercy of the other 'ladies', who while lovely, came dangerously close to sexual harrasment charges on a weekly basis. Bless 'em!

Many experiences and memories from such a brilliant place. I would like to thank the staff and children for their input into my life. I wish them all an extremely happy future. Bless you, and thank you.

V for Vanessa

Vanessa!! The picture on the left is not her, but it is as near an accurate representation of her Medusa-like features that I could find. This entry is a tribute to the malingering old trout.

I am not in fear of her suing me for what I am about to write, as she isn't likely to use a computer, unless she steals one of course.

Vanessa was my neighbour in the house of flats I live in. Her cretinous boyfriend robbed my flat one day while I was at work, and I am sure she was involved also. She was seen with him leaving a shop where he took my dvds that he had stolen. Sadly only he was jailed, and she was left to roam the earth cackling maniacally. Despite being evicted from the property, she still visits my neighbour downstairs, but only on his pay day from income support. He thinks he is her boyfriend, and that she has split up with her robbing boyfriend. Evidence supports otherwise however, and it is highly suspicious that her twisted features only turn up on pay day.

Oh and if you are reading Vanessa, please return any post that you have stolen. Thank you.

V for Vendetta?? Vendetta for Vanessa more like. And it's already started. Bless her, the old witch.

Black Hole sucks in blog

There has been a public outcry due to the lack of recent entries on this blog. Aniticipation has reached fever pitch, akin to the latest Harry Potter saga, or a new salad dressing from Paul Newman. It's not that there hasn't been anything to say! I have a new hamster named Bon Bon, and I could have treated you all to pictures of his little furry self in his giant cage of love. I also have a new baby niece named Maisie, and I could have posted a picture of her too, if any of you are interested.

Work too has been interesting, after being put in charge of organising a community fun day, which went well thank you very much, and we have just interviewed for a new manager to keep an eye on us, and we await with bated breath as to who that will be. So hardly quiet then, so more apologies for the lack of written word here. I will try harder.

However, do check out my other blog (click on this now), which has acted like a black hole, sucking all my inspiration into its inky blackness, and that is the book of cool, which has been a hit with all kinds of people, including 'Woman's Own' who possibly voted it as the 'best blog since Margaret put the kettle on and knitted a wooly jumper of her own design', and 'Top Gear' magazine, who may once have said "If this blog were a car, it would definitely be a ferrarri, cool and graceful". So check it out now, as it contains reviews of movies, tv, and in theory video games, although I haven't done much on the latter.

So long for now xxx

Ham the hamster is dead

Ham the hamster is dead, aged 3 months. He leaves behind Cheese the hamster, and Steph, who reared him from a young age. Reports are in that Ham died from a possible chest infection. Steph told me that he gasped his last as he lay in her warm hands, trying desperately to revive him. Maybe he just lost the will to live. His partner Cheese is purportedly unfriendly, and cannot have been easy to live with. Steph also sings a lot, when not watching 'Casualty' and these may be reasons for him to give up on life so early. We may never know the reason behind his death, but he leaves a lasting legacy. His cage still needs cleaning!

Although his life was surprisingly short, he bought many hours of happiness to all who saw him. His cheeky, chirpy ways gave pleasure to all. His exploits in his ball thrilled and excited. There were plans to watch him jump through hoops of fire while in his ball, but this never came to fruition. Ironically he now lies in a matchbox under a pile of leaves. Goodbye Ham, you will be missed.

The Little Book Of Quiet

Apologies for the quietness of this book of late. I have been putting together various entries for my new blog, 'Book of Cool', with various film and tv reviews, and so have spent little time here. Well instead of moaning about the fact, check out the above blog. In the meantime I will endeavour to find something interesting to write about here. Any suggestions? The on going war between radishes and snails?? Hmm maybe. Take care xxx

The Hustler

Picture the scene why don't you. A murky, smoky, nastily smelling bar. Beer dripping from the walls and the bar wench standing, fag in mouth, shouting "you'll never prove yourself here love".

Imagine that and you'd be wrong. It was nothing like that, but still, my pose here shows I mean business at the pool table, and the local pool table veterans, watched, one eye on the game, the other on their pint (except the guy who only had one eye and didn't know where to look). They watched as I took the pool table by storm, knocking in red after red after white after red etc. It was an unstoppable force - my mother was my partner - and my sister and her her boyfriend could only stand back and gasp at the skill being displayed - until they won, with a sneaky comeback. Though if you follow the link to Joel on the left, you will meet my sister's boyfriend, and discover his magical abilities. There can be no other explanation as to how he and my sister won - he clearly must have hidden his yellow balls up his sleeve, as I sure didn't see them hit the pockets.

Their victory was short lived as in the second game my mother and I had victory, proving once and for all that magic is no substitute to skill. The wench at the bar almost choked on her fag at seeing our victory, and I was sure that the local pool league were about to ask me to join their team. They didn't. They clearly don't have the balls!

A scarecrow, yesterday

Worzel Gummidge making a comeback? Sadly no. However, my photographic genius is returning, and this is a photo I took with my new digital camera. For all those familiar with the photo's of 'Altitude Zero' (or Andy to the rest of us - see his link to the left), these photo's are set to leave him angry and shame faced at my brilliance. The competition for the best photo in the world starts here, and I'm sure you will agree I have a head start. Maybe.